Consistent is better than difficult

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always hated difficult conversations. Not getting them. GIVING them. Especially performance reviews. They’re awkward. They’re frustrating. And, truth be told, they’re scary.

Most middle managers (like I once was), are promoted just beyond their level of competency. We’re good at customer service. We’re good at writing or design. We’re good at crunching numbers. So, of course, that means we get promoted to LEAD other people. Often LOTS of other people.

And it’s often a mess. Doing and leading are two FAR different disciplines. And most doers who advance to the position of leader are quite often clueless when it comes to handling different personalities, different work styles and different world views. A shared work space is often ALL that’s shared in a company of more than 30 employees. But no matter who we are leading, teaching or coaching, here’s what we can always expect:

•10 percent of your staff will be rock stars and will need virtually no guidance or discipline. What they crave, however, is affirmation, so please be sure to give it to them. A lot. One boss once told me, “I don’t need to compliment my people. I give them a paycheck every two weeks.” He couldn’t be more wrong. Most high performers aren’t in it for the money. Instead, they love to do great work. And they love when that great work is noticed. So please let your shining stars know you see and appreciate them.

•80 percent of your staff will be OK. Not great. Not horrible. They’ll be OK. They’ll show up on time (and just on time), and they’ll leave at quitting time (and no later.) They’ll do exactly what you ask them to do — and ONLY what you ask them to do. They view their role as a job and not a calling, so if you are OK with a majority of your people with that mindset, you’ll be just fine. And so will your company. 

•And the final 10 percent of your staff will be a problem. A big problem. They’ll show up late. They’ll have plenty of excuses for missing deadlines. They’ll talk about co-workers behind their backs. They’ll talk about YOU behind your back. And they’ll be absolutely shocked when you share some negative thoughts — and no pay raise — during your difficult conversations.

Please don’t make the same mistake I did in my early years of leadership. And that was trying to move the bottom 10 percent into the middle 80 percent. It just won’t happen. You will be better off giving them permission to work somewhere else. From my own experience and from talking to other leaders, it will go much better if you try to pull some of your average 80 percent into the top 10 percent. With the right guidance, and through building solid relationships, this can be quite successful.

And here’s the best part: You don’t need “difficult conversations” to do it. You simply need “consistent conversations.” So if you’re a young leader — or a seasoned veteran, for that matter — I want to take a moment to share the best advice I’ve ever heard on how to do that. It comes from marketing guru Seth Godin, who I could listen to all day when it comes to business ideas. Here’s what he has to say:

“I would sit down with the employee and tell her that we will meet together every three days. I would remind her that I really like her, I value her as a person, but that our meetings will have nothing to do with her personally,” Godin explained. “Our meetings would focus strictly on her behaviors. Every three days. And because I like her and value her, I want to make sure she’s producing the best possible work. All of our discussions will focus on how to make her GREAT.”

What team member WOULDN’T want to have that conversation? As a leader, you would be asking for permission to help take her exactly where she wants to go. So simple. So brilliant.

And that’s exactly what leadership is. That’s exactly what sales is, too. Building trust and relationships that are so solid, the other person knows exactly what our mission is — and that’s to serve them. And we get permission to give them exactly what they want. And what do most people want? To become the best version of themselves. And a lot of people are willing to pay handsomely if we can help them get there.

So let’s remember that the next time we’re making a cold call. Or the next time we’re sitting down for a performance review. Or the next time one of our players needs to hear from us. Let’ be sure to remind them WHY we’re connecting. Let’s remind them that there is a better place THEY want to go. And WE want to be the guide they trust to take them there.

For a leader, teacher or coach, there’s nothing more fulfilling than helping others grow and flourish. As we’ve just learned, it’s not hard to do. But we better be willing to show up consistently to do it.