Choose experience over expectations

 

“Don't let what you expected
keep you from what God wants
you to experience.” — Steven Furtick

That’s deep, isn’t.

Cuts deep, too.

Truth be told, I expect a lot.

From myself …

I’m old enough and wise enough to know I should be a man of integrity, a man of high character, a man who shows up, lifts up and rises up to the occasion. Sadly, I’m not always that guy.

From others …

I expect meetings to have an agenda, for you to tell the truth, for leaders to lead, followers to follow, and for systems to flow somewhat efficiently. Sadly, life doesn’t work that way.

From the things I buy …

I expect them to operate when I turn them “on.” You and I both know that’s not always the case.

So what’s the answer? How can we avoid needless frustration and resentment from expectations that are way too high? 

It’s simple, actually. Expect the unexpected. 

That’s how God loves to deliver what He wants us to experience.

Let me give you a couple of examples:

PARENTS OF ATHLETES

The expectation — Maybe you expected your child to become a great player on the travel softball circuit this summer. 

The reality — She never left the bench. Or got hurt.

The pivot — She learned to become a great TEAMMATE instead, cheering and encouraging from the dugout, offering helpful suggestions to other players, seeing the game in a different light. She’s developing into a LEADER.

The unexpected blessing — Deeper conversations during your car rides. A new perspective on WHY we play. A new vision for the future. Maybe she now goes on to become a coach herself, a CEO or the governor of our state.

DRIVERS IN A HURRY

The expectation — From mid-March through May there were fewer motorists than we can ever remember because of the Coronavirus shutdown. That would have been a perfect time for road crews to work.

The reality — Nope. They’re starting now when EVERYONE is driving again.

The pivot — Instead of cussing, honking and raging, maybe we can “read” audio books or enjoy meaningful podcasts while captive in our university on wheels.

The unexpected blessing — We can fuel our minds, transform our thinking and move closer to becoming the person we want to be. We might even capture our next great idea.

FEAR OF MISSING OUT

The expectation — We endlessly scroll through social media, binge watch Netflix, turn on cable “news” and long for professional sports to return. THAT, we know, will give us the boost we need in a world that’s spiraling out of control.

The reality — It doesn’t. It only heightens our level of anxiety, fear, and frustration.

The pivot — Go for a walk, call a friend you haven’t seen for years, write a note of gratitude. Pray and read a physical book.

The unexpected blessing — We’re healthier, more relaxed and clear-headed. We’ll stop looking at each other as Red, Blue or one of those “extremists.” We’ll begin to realize “winning” an argument really isn’t winning at all.

So, what’s our over-arching lesson today?  I think there are two:

1) Never lower your expectations — Simply redirect them. What’s happening around us doesn’t have to impact what’s going on inside of us. Always expect God to move, but not in ways you might expect.

2) Redefine the word “expectation” — It does NOT mean “control.” Instead, trust that whatever comes our way is ALWAYS in our best interest. Believe it or not, there is Someone even more interested in our well-being than we are. Someone who sees us becoming more than we ever could. Someone who wants to give us an experience far deeper than what our limited minds can expect.

As author Max Lucado says, “God will make good out of your mess. He will get you through this. That’s his job.”

Trust me, there are times I NEVER would have expected that to happen.

But it’s true.

(Tim Kolodziej is the creator of EnspireU.com and author of this piece.)

FaithTim Kolodziej