If you quit, we'll know why
Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash
“Finish!” I shouted.
“Finish it!”
She didn’t. Instead, the young lady I was teaching pulled her wrist back quickly. Ever seen footage of a cobra strike? Just like that.
“Arm goes up, wrist comes down,” I reminded her. “Close with a pose. Finish high.”
She tried it again and this time her shot fell softly into the orange cylinder. Up, down, and through with a beautiful back spin.
“That’s it!” I shouted again. Just like that!”
“Finish.” (But that’s not really what I meant.)
WHO ARE YOU BECOMING?
Nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing “the light bulb” turn on. Those who teach or coach know what I mean. Some call it the “aha moment,” the exact point in time when learning and struggle morph into skill or knowledge. The student has climbed another step on the staircase to excellence.
But far too often we forget it’s a never-ending staircase.
For those who continue to lift one foot in front of the other, the rewards are plentiful. I’ve written before that the pursuit of learning is a gift in itself. The journey to acquiring new skill and insight is LIFE itself.
There’s no finish line. The route is constantly under construction. The rooms are forever being renovated.
Here’s a quick example: Let’s say your goal is to lose 30 pounds so your body can dazzle on the beach this summer. After months of working out and eating clean, you finally hit your target weight.
Now what? Is the game over? Now that you achieved the objective, do you resume eating the way you once did?
No, you don’t. At least you shouldn’t. If you do, the weight will return faster than you can say “strawberry shortcake.”
When we achieve goals, win titles, or secure dream jobs, we really aren’t achieving, winning or securing.
We’ve merely begun the process of BECOMING.
We’re BECOMING a healthier person. A person who has trained herself to live with healthy habits.
We’re BECOMING a champion. A person who trained himself to move through the world like one.
We’re BECOMING an influencer. A person who walks with a new spring in every step and an eye for helping others succeed.
And any time we start something, we must always remember what our mothers taught us at the dinner table many years ago.
“Finish.” (But that’s not really what she meant.)
TWO REASONS WE GIVE UP
So here’s the question: Why can’t we?
Finish, I mean.
Why do we gain the weight back?
Why do we win a championship and become complacent?
Why do we stop nourishing our souls with wisdom and succumb to the junk that distracts us?
I’ve got two theories:
It’s hard. Really, really hard.
We start for the wrong reasons.
Let’s examine both.
It’s hard — Any worthwhile pursuit is. Becoming a skilled basketball player takes rep after rep after rep. Reshaping your body takes an incredible amount of discipline. Learning takes an inordinate amount of focus. Many times in my life I’ve pursued things and I thought I failed. I didn’t fail. I just quit. Because it was hard. And because I was doing it for the …
Wrong Reasons — Many of us begin new pursuits to please other people. We lift weights so WE can become more attractive. We take up a sport so WE can be celebrated by our families. We learn a second language so WE can become more marketable. We work non-stop so WE can buy more things, build bigger homes, and drive faster cars so others will admire US. Noticing a trend?
When we do things to get attention, it gets old pretty fast. WE get old pretty fast. Others tire of looking at us and move on to the next flavor. When we’re in constant need of approval and affirmation of others, the treadmill we’re on increases to a dangerous level. We just can’t keep up.
So, how can we become a person who CAN finish? One who can keep going even when it gets really, really hard?
We need to make two changes:
1) Change a definition — Remember earlier when we said there’s no finish line to anything? We’ve got to live like it. Our natural response to the word finish is “OK, you can stop now.” So let’s define it differently. Let’s train ourselves to believe finish means “just keep going.” Because it really does.
2) Change our focus — Instead of pursuing worthy objectives for our own glory or gain, we must train ourselves to become great FOR other people. This is a huge paradigm shift from doing things to get approval FROM other people.
Let’s return to the story of the young lady shooting the basketball. We would never know if her form was correct, if the ball was rotating backward, or if the arc was high enough until she actually took a shot.
In other words, something must be released into the world to become valuable.
And that something — that SOMEONE — is you. So by all means keep reshaping your body. Keep taking online courses. Keep bringing your arm up and your wrist down.
Just remember WHY you’re doing it.
And if you’re at the point up giving up right now, please read the previous sentence again.
Just give it one more day. Just give it one more more try. There’s always one more person who needs the gift you can share.
The gift ONLY you can share.
(Tim Kolodziej is the creator of EnspireU.com and author of this piece.)